I’ve Been Served

So I was "served" a subpoena for a criminal court case today...as a witness. When I think of "being served" I usually think of a nice lamb roulade or a decadent, chocolate black truffle cake at a fancy restaurant. It threw me a little off guard considering:

#1 I am not a criminal.

#2 I do not engage in criminal activity.

#3 There was no waiter in sight holding anything remotely resembling truffle.

After a quick panic, here is a conclusion I drew all by myself...ready? I haven't witnessed any murders...EVER!! This was easily checked by noticing the name at the top of the subpoena. It did NOT belong to me. I called the attorney's office and found out they deal only with criminal cases and witness protection...should I be worried that the guy who used to live in my house is in witness protection for whatever crime he saw being committed?! Maybe The Mob will show up at my doorstep tomorrow.